Inner Work

Dear Larger part of myself;

I know that you are me and I am you.  I don’t want to refer to you as my higher self anymore, because that makes me feel that you are separate from me, and connotes that I am only small, only a physical body, which I know is not true.  I now want to refer to you as the larger part of myself that is unseen.  We are one being, a spiritual being, living a human life.  There is a physical part of me that sits now and writes.  But there is a larger part of me, grand and wise, and felt rather than seen.

This is the presence to whom I now speak.  I’ve been struggling with something, and I need your help.

I seek meaningful work.  I seek fulfillment and purpose, through using my unique talents and gifts to help others in a meaningful way.  I don’t know exactly what this looks like yet.  But I do know what it feels like.  It feels like joy, and deep fulfillment, and more joy.  It feels rewarding, authentic, and deeply satisfying.  It feels like letting my spirit out to play!

Probably I have not seen a prototype of this because there isn’t one!  Probably I must create something special and unique that will serve in the way only I can serve.

And so this is what I hold dearly in my heart as the feeling I want to create.  This feeling of true, honest, deep fulfillment.  Of embodying the joy that comes with authentic expression into my work here on earth.  Allowing my heart to pour itself out into the world, through my hands, as the work that I do.

Larger part of myself, help guide me in this.  Help guide me toward the opportunities that you know are right for me.  Because I don’t know what this looks like; I don’t know details, I find myself frustrated sometimes by manifestation techniques and visualization.  I don’t know what to ask for!  I don’t know what to visualize.  However, I know that I can hold onto that feeling of deep level satisfaction and meaning.  I will do this, and leave the details up to you.  Magnetize the right opportunities for me that will allow me to spread OUR gifts into this world.

I also want to mention that I know I have tried to control this for a while now.  I have been clinging to a plan, any plan, feeling that I had to create one just for the sake of having one.  But this has caused anxiety rather than a feeling of fulfillment.  I realize I have been trying to create out of desperation.  Desperation for structure, desperation for a road to the future, desperation because I’m taking it all on myself!!

So I give it all up!!  I surrender the need to create the plan.  I know how to focus on the feeling.  I will surrender the outcome to you, the larger part of myself that is unseen.  I know what my true work feels like already….Heart-breakingly beautiful and alive with passion!  All the desires for adventure, for connection, for creativity, I trust that they will come along with it, for they are part of what fulfills the longing of my soul.  I will focus on the inner work.  I will accept that this is my part.  I am not the architect.  I am the receiver, I am the channel.  I will keep myself in tune.  I will vibrate with fulfillment, gratitude and love.

Now, you do the rest.  🙂

With all my heart, thank you for your work behind the scenes.

With love,

Katelandia

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